Saturday, June 19, 2010

SPELL AND GRAMMAR CHECK THIS FOR ME PLEASE AND RECIEVE TEn POINTS?

閳ユ伐ur zoo profits are dropping dramatically. We might become bankrupt very soon if we don閳ユ獩 think of something new to attract more visitors,閳?Alien 10 ferociously said.



閳ユ凡ell, what we could do is capture more zazacas,閳?Alien 13 gently replied.



閳ユ返ou tell me how that would increase our profits when we already have plenty of zazacas,閳?br> Alien 10 angrily replied as his fist hit the desk.



閳ユ藩orry, it was just a suggestion,閳?Alien 13 responded, stuttering.



Alien 10 said, 閳ユ凡ell can you keep your foolish ideas to yourself?閳?br>



Alien 15 responded, 閳ユ换 have the perfect idea. Alien Scientist 324 recently discovered a new planet where the people call themselves 'humans.' They live on a planet called 'Earth,' the 294th planet found with life on it. But, out of all the planets with life on them, their's is the most uncivilized. They have noses on their faces instead of their arms! Isn閳ユ獩 that weird? They also have two arms instead of three. They are truly ugly looking. Now, let me tell you how unintelligent these humans are. They haven閳ユ獩 discovered teleportation or cloning. They haven閳ユ獩 even discovered how to make devices to allow themselves to contact each other telepathically. Instead, they carry around these large devices called 'cellular phones,' which are truly annoying. They make these ringing sounds.閳?br>



Alien 10 interrupted 閳ユ穾s much as I would like to hear about this highly unsophisticated, extra-terrestrial biological entity, what does this have to do with our zoo? You're off subject.閳?br>



"Well your alien supremeness, I say we teleport to this highly unsophisticated planet, enter in one of their human hospitals, take a baby human, teleport back to our planet, and place him in a zoo,閳?Alien 15 said while putting his three hands in the air widely.



閳ユ窉o you have the coordinates to a hospital on Earth and temporary DNA changers so we can transform into one of these humans?閳?Alien 10 asked.



閳ユ翻hough they might still be stuck in the digital age, we shouldn閳ユ獩 interfere with this civilization. It isn閳ユ獩 nice. How would you like it if someone just put you in a zoo?閳?Alien 13 replied. Everyone laughed simultaneously.



閳ユ翻hey're not people, they're humans,閳?someone replied.



閳ユ凡hat are the coordinates to this planet, Alien 15,閳?Alien 10 said, still laughing at the comment Alien 13 had made.



"540 by 905 are the exact coordinates, sir, and here is a sample of human hair. Put it on the DNA modifier. It will change us to humans, but we will still have our superior alien brains," Alien 15 said back as Alien 10 put in the information to his watch and teleported to a human hospital.



"We need to be quick and agile if we are going to succeed," Alien 10 said, looking at a vending machine. "I wonder what a human liquefied edible element tastes like" thought Alien 10 to himself as he tried to get a drink by shaking the machine telepathically.



The zoo profits of The Global Zoo of Mathgloboor went up tremendously over the pasy few days. Plenty of people visited The Global Zoo of Mathgloboor. The human was the biggest attraction, and after a month the zoo profits rose way higher then expected seventy billion gold pieces .Years went past the human had no knowledge of himself, a feral child isolated from humans not able to speak his on language but the zoo was the largest its all of Mathgloboor and all of the employees became rich.. The human became like a jungle animal walking on four legs licking up the much they placed on his floor cage. Until one day a Alien 13 was saddened by what they did and decided to make a change. Alien 13 was a extremely intelligent scientist who worked at the zoo from the side. Throughout the years he was working on a device powered by water, which could transmit knowledge to outsiders. And he finally was about to hook it up at night. He put the wires in the human閳ユ獨 brain and transmitted the knowledge that was needed to who he was. "I know who I am" said the human. "I want to return to my planet" .



"The only way to can go back to earth is if you meet with the alien overlord, a cruel dictator who runs this planet and who閳ユ獨 ancestor have run this planet vigorously but first you need to fight Alien 10 and alien 15 if you defeat them you can steal their teleporters and travel back to your planet but Alien overlord tracks down every alien that teleports and if anyone teleports without his approval he will stop the teleportation process and you might be stuck in time and space forever. " Alien 13 said. "Unless you somehow fight him, but you wouldn閳ユ獩 have any chances of winning unless you, well, no..." "



"Tell me I need to go back to my planet for so long I never knew who I was but now I know who I am I don閳ユ獩 even know my name, or my family" said the human.



"Look, walk from here to over there" Alien 13 said. And the human did.



"Just as I thought, the gravitational pull from this planet Is 43653 times stronger then the one on Earth. Meaning you have somewhat adapted to this planet, and you have gotten used to the high gravity of this planet in comparison with Earth. If you go back to Earth where the gravity is so low, your muscles would have developed further than normal. Making you very strong so you can jump high and run very fast and possibly fly" Alien 13 said quietly.



"But how is this going to help me go back to Earth?" the human said eagerly. You need some rest alien 13 said go back in your cage for now and sleep when alien 15 and alien 10 open your cage to give you your food your earth monk exit the cage steal alien 10 teleported then push him in cage and lock it you must be quick and agile and take the both out simultaneously. And so the human went back and his cage and slowly oozed to sleep until he was awaken by the sound of alien 10 and 15 footsteps about to open his cage to give him his earth munk and he did as he was told and came out the cage and took their teleporters then quickly put them In the cage. Let me out here you inferior sad excuse for a life form Alien 15 said. The human ignored him and then went to alien 13 and asked how to use the teleporter. Alien 13 replied 閳ユ竸on閳ユ獩 worry about that we need to to go in to Alien overlords palalce and turn his tracking device off. They journed on their long adventure until they finally go to Alien overlords palace. They saw the window to Alien overlords warooom where he controlled his planet actions. And held the top technology in all of the galaxy. The human and alien 13 peeked through the window and so that the Alien overlord was guarded . So alien 13 took out his invention called 閳ユ竾rezomolecules閳?that would freeze your molecules making you become invisible , Alien 13 didn閳ユ獩 ever test his formula on humans but today he did. And they both became invisible . The both entered Aliens overlords palace and turned the Alien overlord tracing device off.. Alien 13 activated the teleporter and sent the human to a police station on earth. The human told them how he had been kidnapped by aliens for 15 year and recently teleported back. The police officer then placed him in a mental intuition for his absurd bizarre story. The human was placed in a room with nothing but a tv and bed and he turned the television on and the immediate station was the news. He begin watching about a man who ever one thought was crazy who started the Alien Abduction Agency and who claimed his son was taking by aliens at birth and didn閳ユ獩 want to let it happen to anyone else. And they showed a picture of the man and the human knew that was his long lost father and he called the news station and told them he wanted to meet with the man who had suspected to be his father. The let him out the mental institution to go meet his father the son ran toward his father it seemed like forever for the son to reach his long lost father but he finally did and the hugged. Who am I who is my name the son asked.



Your mother was going to name you Jermany before she died giving birth to you. The reason why I went to incredible links to find you is I couldent lose both of you you all were all that I had and A family is a haven in a heartless world come on boy im taking you home. They leaned in to hug again as the boy picked up his father and picked him up above his head. Your very strong what type of foods did those aliens feed you ? Oh it閳ユ獨 a gravity thing the son replied as the walked home happily they had been reunited after all these years but 1000 other humans had been also abducted and the father and boy continued to try to help though people called the crazy and foolish all the time.



SPELL AND GRAMMAR CHECK THIS FOR ME PLEASE AND RECIEVE TEn POINTS?

I hate to be picky, but here goes:



When you use well as an interjection (such as "Well your alien supremeness..."), there should be a comma after well.



This is a question, right? --%26gt;閳ユ凡hat are the coordinates to this planet, Alien 15,閳?Alien 10 said, still laughing at the comment Alien 13 had made.



There should be a question mark.



I'm just going to edit the rest myself and you can change it as you see fit...



So, Alien 13 took out his invention called 閳ユ竾rezomolecules閳?that would freeze your molecules, making you become invisible. Alien 13 didn閳ユ獩 ever test his formula on humans but that day, he did and they both became invisible . They both entered the Aliens overlord's palace and turned the Alien overlord tracking device off..



They showed a picture of the man and the human knew that the man was his long lost father and he called the news station and told them he wanted to meet with the man who he had suspected to be his father. They let him out the mental institution to go meet his father and the son ran toward his father. It seemed like forever for the son to reach his long-lost father, but he finally did and they hugged. "Who am I? What is my name?" the son asked.



"Your mother was going to name you Jermany before she died giving birth to you. The reason why I went to incredible lengths to find you is that I couldn't lose both of you. You were all that I had and a family is a haven in a heartless world...Come on boy, I'm taking you home. They leaned in to hug again as the boy picked up his father and held him above his head. "You're very strong. What type of foods did those aliens feed you ?"



"Oh, it閳ユ獨 a gravity thing," the son replied as they walked home happily. They had been reunited after all these years, but 1000 other humans had been also abducted and the father and boy continued to try to help, though people called them crazy and foolish all the time.



That's all I can see at the moment; I hope it helps.



The last paragraph seems a bit rushed, but overall, I liked the story ;]



SPELL AND GRAMMAR CHECK THIS FOR ME PLEASE AND RECIEVE TEn POINTS?

the only one i found wrong was



liquefied it should be liquified



SPELL AND GRAMMAR CHECK THIS FOR ME PLEASE AND RECIEVE TEn POINTS?

In my opinion, you write "Alien 10" and "Alien 13" too frequently. Otherwise, I like the story. =O

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